Okay, I won. I don't know how, I was up against some serious smart people, and somehow I came out on top.
Fortunately, Ali and Dylan are driving back to Brisbane, and have kindly offered to stick the new machine (to be named "Trinket" to join "Shiny") in their back seat.
Zomgawesome. I was so hyped I couldn't calm down until I'd had a finger of scotch.